It’s been a week since all the dramas came to a head, and it’s only now I’m really in the right head space to write about it. 

Unfortunately the guild team that I have been a part of for almost a year now, a team that has many people in it whom I consider friends, has decided to stop pushing for progression. The officers and GM decided that, due to busy work/personal lives and a lack of passion for the game, that the raid team would do heroic raiding only and would stop until the next raid tier, rather than trying mythic. The decision wasn’t a surprise – the team had been changing and it had been pretty clear that something was amiss. And so it was that the announcement was made on Sunday evening last week after raid that the changes would take affect immediately. 

To say I’m disappointed is an understatement. It’s actually been pretty horrible. I’ve grown quite fond of the raid team and the guild members, and have thoroughly enjoyed raiding with each and every one of them. And it came to be that I had to make a decision – did I want to continue raiding with friends, but at a lower level than I would like to attempt, or do I venture out once more in to the breach, and try to find a raid team that wants to do mythics and who are a nice bunch of people. 

It’s taken a while to make a decision. For some people it was a quick decision, though. My bf, who was the main tank, was already on his way out. He usually raids much higher level than this and had only really stuck around because of me. So Sunday was his last night. He’s now transferred to Alliance and to a different server and seems to be doing well so far. Others made the move shortly after. Then on Wednesday, two of my fellow healers, Zeirah and trollmonk had found guilds to trial with.

I had put in an application to trial with a different guild myself. They fit the bill – had a few mythics under their belt, but mostly seemed to have a really good attitude. All of their advertisements and forums posts etc. were polite but to the point and their website looked good. So I applied. They asked me to trial as elemental shaman, which I agreed to. 

And then Wednesday happened. 

Wednesday was not a good day for me at work. Things have been incredibly stressful for quite some time now – almost a year to be honest. On Wednesday it just all got too much for when something (someone) incredibly stupid happened and I had a minor meltdown. I walked out of work that day genuinely unsure if I was going to be back. I went home that day and cried and cried. Every time I tried to speak I’d just end up crying again – it had all gotten to be too much. I tried logging on to WoW, but couldn’t face it and just logged off again and climbed in to bed for the rest of the day. 

I ended up cancelling the raid team trial for that night. There was no way I was going to be useful to anyone. And they seemed like such a nice group of people I didn’t want to drag them down. 

I was a bit lost for a few days (and I suppose to a degree I still am now). I spent some time on Saturday talking to Z about it all (she is incredibly patient with me!) She said that the team she’s trialling with are looking for an elemental shaman, as asked if I’d be interested. I decided I’d give it a go. I feel really terrible for the other team I applied to, but I think raiding with friends trumps everything else. Because even when you’re having a bad night, your friends will be there to keep your spirits up (or moan with you!) and it’s so much better. 

So that’s where things are at. I left my guild this evening before most people came on. I think if everyone was there I wouldn’t have been able to do it. And now I’m out the front of BRF waiting for my trial to begin. Everything is respecced to ele…. we’ll just have to see how I go. It will be weird being dps again – I’ve really gotten used to healing. Hopefully I don’t let everyone down.