Another year has passed. So many things have changed and at the same time nothing has changed at all. COVID feels closer than ever, with people I actually know and work with getting it. The feeling of isolation associated with this virus is ever present and continues to wreak havoc on my anxiety and general tolerance for the world.

But in amongst the same-same, some changes happened. We moved out of the city into a house in the ‘burbs (still just renting) and it’s glorious. (Though need a full time gardener!) I got a huge promotion at work, and I have taken up crafting, making things with resin and anything that can come out of a cricut machine. And best of all, we adopted a kitty – Tilly.

Unfortunately the other thing that has changed (and most recently) is that our guild finally, and completely, disbanded just after Christmas. Mythic Sylvanas prog claimed another victim. There are many reasons it happened, but mostly it came down to just continuously losing players. We can blame the game, we can blame the state of the world, we can blame the fickleness of people, but it doesn’t change anything: I am currently without a raiding guild. And you know, I feel pretty garbage about it.

Being part of a guild and raiding each week was one of the things (Thor obviously being the other) that helped me deal with what was basically 2 years of lockdown. WoW and raiding was a way to escape the realities of the world, where I could have a laugh with a bunch of fellow fools. But now that’s gone. I watched them drop, one by one throughout the year, so it’s not a surprise that everything fell apart. Even I had to take a step back and stop being an officer for awhile due to work getting so busy. But I was still there healing every raid night. We took a break for Christmas and New Years, but a post was made in the middle of it announcing the guild’s end once and for all. And now I just have this sense of loss.

I’m left here trying to figure out my next steps. In what can only be described as an accurate state of World of Warcraft and the world around us, Sivation wrote a fantastic post a couple of days back explaining his reasons for taking a break from WoW (read it here). So many of his reasons for stepping back ring true for me, too, from raid teams not raiding, to story not being engaging, to just not feeling it. Add to that the disappointment and disgust upon hearing people’s experiences working at Blizzard and the subsequent law suit (wowhead link for summary and links to full detail here), and you’ve got a recipe for disillusion and disappointment.

I’m stuck between three choices, and to be honest they are all on relatively equal footing in terms of preference at the moment:

1. Find a new raid team for 9.2
2. Take a step back and find a casual guild to do heroics
3. Quit playing WoW

It might seem obvious to just go look for a new raid team, but I actually haven’t had to find a new guild for a very long time. Not since the end of Warlords of Draenor, actually! Every guild since then has been an evolution or transition of the last one, with people I already know. There was a very short stint in BfA where I raided with another guild short term, but that was a guild I was approached by rather than one I sought out. Right now, there is noone seeking me out. I won’t whinge about the anxiety side of finding a new raid team – see my whole blog for that crap – but it’s there, and is the negative in option 1. However, if I could find a 2 night mythic raid team who were a decent bunch of folk, that would be the ideal situation.

Option 2 is my fall back in my head, but really… it’s as hard as finding a mythic team. The idea of finding a casual guild is for the social/friend aspect, but in reality, most of my friends don’t raid anymore, or were in Realm and are already in other teams. So I’m not so sure who I would actually join. (Oh the joys of timezones).

Then there’s the nuclear option of just quitting WoW altogether. Normally that would be a quick no, but with the state of the game and lack of people for me to play with, it’s become a more viable option. This is where I am most torn, because a big part of me thinks about how much time and money I would save by not playing WoW. And it’s not like I’d have nothing to do: I’ve got my crafting now. It would probably also be better for my health. But then on the flip side I think of how much time and money I have invested in my WoW hobby and I do still get so much enjoyment out of the game (even when it’s a bit rubbish like now) – there’s loads of stuff I’m looking forward to in 9.2 (shamans finally get some new ghost wolf options!! And the new raid looks really interesting.) So it makes it quite a difficult choice.

In a way I feel kinda… abandoned. I think it’s the realisation that some friendships meant more to me than they did to them. Which is fine, it is. I do get more attached than I should anyway so it’s my own doing. But it does make me sad to not have these people around anymore. I should have tried harder I guess.

Anyway, that’s where things are at the moment. No idea what is next for me. I do know, though, that I’m enjoying crafting, so I’ll probably be sharing some of that work in the near future. And hopefully next time I write I’ll have found a new WoW home.

xo